Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
