hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
