I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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