Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
