haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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