I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
