no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
