I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
