I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
