I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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