Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize