well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is Oprah even human
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
