Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
