Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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