Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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