I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there's paper in my vomit.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
