respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize