the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
