I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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