Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
