I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
