i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
