The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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