if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
