i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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