AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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