so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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