one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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