I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
