Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
