and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize