FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
