Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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