if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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