RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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