did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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