You work out of a Hotel?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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