this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
