This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
