In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
