me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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