I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
