they need to just BURY HIM!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
