Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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