I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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