Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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