i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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