"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
