The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
