Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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