Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Couch. On fire.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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