So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
