saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
