WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
