I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid is not a monday night drug
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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