Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
