the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What a dumb baby whore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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