you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So much rum. So many feels.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
